Just when you think it’s safe…

Having got things done on Monday and Tuesday, I knew I’d have a busy week ending, with my usual manic Wednesday, and working on Friday and Saturday, but nevertheless, the weekend should bring us our first chance to stop and draw breath, and we planned to sit with the calendar and sort out our summer plans.

After my clinic on Wednesday, I had Raqs Sharqi but I struggled this week. Most of the new moves seemed to go right over my head and I felt I couldn’t do anything. Toward the end of the evening, the tutor started teaching us our choreographed piece, and I just thought “I can’t do this”. I forced myself to keep going until the end of the lesson but I didn’t enjoy it this week, and felt hopeless. I’ve felt this before though, and then managed to pick things up after they’ve had a chance to sink in a little, so I’m hopeful that this will be the case again. Next week although we have no class, we are going to the tutor’s house to watch Raqs Sharqi videos so that should be pretty good.

Work was busy on Thursday and Friday, though I did get the desk cleared at last. That evening my mum e-mailed me to say that my Nan was not well again but we didn’t have much information – just that she had a chest infection and was not eating or drinking. On Saturday, I woke up with Nanny on my mind, and I was restless. I got a few things ready for posting at home, including Nanny’s diabetic chocolate bar I’d got her from Thornton’s, and then I went to town and posted them, and did some banking. After this, I went to my clinic and did some repeat prescriptions that had to be done over the weekend – I was out and I wanted to get them done in case anything happened to prevent me doing them later. I’d just got to my clinic when mum sent a text to say Nanny was unconscious and was going to hospital, and so I frantically finished off the prescriptions and went home.

Mum was at work until 1pm and was waiting for more news, but we both feared the worst, and so I packed a bag and went down to Chester. At least I’d be 3 hours nearer to Nanny, and could provide mum with transport too. We then had a day of trying to get more information and trying to work out what to do. Neither of us could manage to do what we did last August when we thought we were losing Nanny – rushing down to Sussex, staying in a  different B&B every night, sitting by her bed for days, all combined to make us ill last year. We both also had work and other commitments to consider. So we stayed put and just prepared to dash off at a moment’s notice. We also looked up routes to the hospital – which was not Nanny’s local one, and B&B’s in that town (few and far between!) and liaised with the rest of the family.

At about 5pm we established that we probably didn’t need to go down that day as she was no worse, and was now on IV fluids and antibiotics – but we didn’t drink any alcohol or relax too much, just in case. Having made all our plans, we tried to relax a bit for the evening, and had a light but tasty dinner of boiled bacon, new potatoes and broccoli, followed by strawberries – mum having had the foresight to pop into the supermarket after work and buy some food to feed her unexpected guest.

We watched the final of Any Dream Will Do on BBC1, which mum has watched every week, and I have only seen when I’ve been staying with her. We still agreed on who we thought should win, and obviously the rest of the country agreed as he did win. Well done Lee.We joked that we ought to go and watch him since we’d felt so strongly that he should win, and it’s a show I’ve always loved and wanted to see, but we didn’t think we’d stand much chance getting tickets really.

We both had a bit of a job to sleep later, though we did manage eventually, and we were up at 7am Sunday, waiting until we felt we could reasonably call the hospital for more news. At 8.30am mum called them, and found that it was too early to say how things were going, but that Nanny certainly wasn’t any worse, and had managed a reasonably comfortable night. That didn’t really help us decided what to do, so we decided to wait for the next update at lunchtime, and if nothing had changed, I’d go back home and we’d both plan to go to work on Monday.

This left us with a Sunday morning to fill, and we both felt too restless to just sit about. We went round the corner for the paper, and walked past my old house just for something to do. I’d suggested we go to the crematorium and “visit” dad so we went and picked some roses from the garden, and then went. As ever, the crem was lovely and tranquil and the weather was beautiful, so we went and looked at dad’s plaque and left the roses, and then we went to the garden area where his ashes were scattered. We sat on the bench and chatted about dad, life, football and all sorts, and then had a little wander around. It felt right and we were both pleased we went. On the way back, we went into B&Q and bought some bits mum needed – we may as well make use of my impromptu visit, and it kept us from fretting at home.

We had our lunch in the garden , enjoying the sun and then mum called the hospital again. Well, still, there was nothing much to tell us. She was no worse, but no better, and it was too early to see if the antibiotics were working. They anticipated that if the treatment worked, Nanny would probably be kept in for a few days then sent back to the nursing home, and if it didn’t, they had agreed that should Nanny deteriorate, they would not resuscitate her, just make her comfortable. (With which we agreed)

So, difficult as it was, I set off for home later in the afternoon, after mum and I had worked out various possible plans for various eventualities. I had called Lee on Saturday to ask her to cover Monday for me, and she’d been very happy to do so, and now I didn’t know whether to phone her and say I should be OK to work, or not. If I did that and then we got the call to go down to Sussex, I would be stuck, as I wouldn’t want to mess Lee about again. In the end I decided to keep it that I’d have Monday off, and then I wouldn’t be worried about not being free to leave if the need arose.

 I got home in the evening and did the week’s ironing, and shared a curry with Billy, and we exchanged news and chat. Later on, he came to me with three tickets for “Joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat”! He’d asked earlier about when Lee was at work or on holiday and what holiday mum gets, but I didn’t know why! He said we deserved a treat and he’d picked the best date he could to avoid problems at work, and the football season. I couldn’t believe it. He is so thoughtful and wonderful. I hope mum can get a couple of days off now! Still in a daze, I loaded the washing machine, then, still worrying, I collapsed into bed, leaving my packed bag by the door, in case.

Here we are, on Monday evening, STILL none the wiser. I can’t believe they don’t have some idea of whether or not the antibiotics are doing anything yet. Just a little clue would be nice. I’ve spent the day on yellow alert – ready to drop everything, yet trying to get things done.

Laura was ill again this morning so I insisted that she had to go to the doctor to find out what’s going on since she’s ill about once a week these days. (And no, it isn’t to skive school as it is often at weekends, and she’s happy at school!) So I had to make a doctor’s appointment which was arranged for 11.50am. Before that, I went to deliver the prescriptions I’d done, and to see Lee and fill her in on the weekend’s events. I found Helen and Kate there too so told them all about it – or rather all about my state of not knowing! They were all very supportive and Lee insisted that she would cover whatever was needed and I was not to worry. We’ agreed that I would work tomorrow unless I had to get to Sussex in a rush, and then I got home in time to go to the doctor with Laura. And in time to see Stephen as he came home after sitting his maths GCSE, which he’d found hard (calculator paper).

It looks like Laura may have IBS, which tends to run in the family, so we have worked out what to try, and hopefully she can get on without missing any more school. The doctor was pretty good and he made a note of her height and weight, as she is so slender for her height – but then she always has been, and it’s about normal given her food allergies.

I had lunch sitting in the garden and mum sent a text to say there was still no change. Still very restless, I decided to carry on painting the garden so that at least I’d get something constructive done. It was a fairly good choice as it left my mind free to roam, and I was lucky enough to get it all done and cleared up just before the heavens opened.(It is now thundering too)

I’m waiting for an evening update now – this is quite exhausting, and I just can’t work out whether no news is good news or more cause for concern. I can’t cope with much more of this and if nothing changes, I may just end up driving down to see for myself, at the end of the week.



  1. Sorry to hear about your Nan. Thinking of you all.

    And I’m v. jealous re the Joseph tickets, I wanted Lee to win too and now desperately want to get tickets! Where did Billy get them from?

    Jeni x

  2. Blue Spice says

    Thanks Jeni. We’re still waiting for news – my poor nerves!

    Billy used http://www.seetickets.com and the tickets are printed off at home so you don’t have to worry about the post. Lee was far and away the best, I thought. The other two were just boys and couldn’t have done the older Joseph justice.

    Anji – X


  1. […] After work on Tuesday, Billy, Paul and I went for a drink – or maybe three! We felt we needed it and we had a far better evening than if we’d been brooding alone. We need Friday to come round fast I think. Before that though, I have to try and concentrate on Thursday’s plans – going to London and watching Joseph with Mum and my cousin Julie. […]

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