Barry M – unofficial sponsor of City luck

I e-mailed Barry M cosmetics a couple of weeks ago saying:

Dear Mr M (or may I call you Barry?)

I recently bought (for many of my hard earned pennies) one of your liquid eyeliners after spending a good while in Boots deciding on the right product for me.

You see, I’m a feminine lady and usually go for the natural colours – browns and pinks. I don’t go pubbing and clubbing, and am happily married so don’t have any need to attract the opposite sex with bright plumage. No, what I spend my spare time doing is watching a whole field of men chasing a ball, and my beloved team wears blue. On these occasions, I wear my blue shirt, jewellery, nail polish – and makeup (I do like a co-ordinated look, don’t you Barry?)

My last blue eyeliner was a Boots own brand one and it had done well to get me through two seasons – well, actually Barry, it was a bit gloopy by the end of the last one but we football fans are terribly superstitious you know and I wasn’t prepared to change mid-season – just in case!

So……… there I was in Boots, expecting to waltz in and pick up a repeat blue Boots eyeliner but alas, they no longer did the blue one! Argh! Not one to be deterred, I spent HOURS (well, maybe not but it certainly felt like it Barry, I can tell you!) looking at every single range of makeup hunting for that apparently elusive breed – the lesser blue eyeliner. Can you believe that only one such item existed? In the whole makeup department, of all the brands? Unbelievable! Obviously you do know women well Barry and are a man of good taste. So I tried your tester and was pleased to find that it glided on in a smooth, neat line (on the back of my hand of course but I felt sure it would be very similar to applying it to my eyes)

Now I only work part time and don’t earn a huge amount (and will be earning less in future if our Health Minister gets his way and cuts NHS pay – you don’t want a hard-working ex-NHS worker to advise you on the needs of football loving girls do you Barry?) Anyway, as I said, I don’t earn much and rarely treat myself to makeup, especially not brand names! But needs must for the team you know, so I bit the bullet and handed over an hour’s wages.

I don’t mind admitting, Barry, that it felt decadent but I walked out of that shop head high and very pleased. Now as you may know, the football season doesn’t begin until next month (my next daunting task is to replace my lucky blue bra, so I have to plan these things you know) but I thought I’d test out my new (hopefully) lucky eyeliner and so I wore it yesterday. It went on like a dream and the colour was perfect.

But now you need to brace yourself, Barry, for the bad news. You may want to get yourself a cuppa because I don’t know if this will come as a shock – you can’t possibly already know because a discerning man such as yourself would know a girl’s needs. Over the course of the day it smudged! I had blue-tinted panda markings! Each time I went to the ladies’ room I had to tidy it up a bit with a wipe of my finger. Now what worries me Barry is that at football my makeup has to go through the bad times – groaning, head-in-hands, rubbing eyes in disbelief etc – and the good times – tears of joy, cuddling the total strangers next to me etc. And believe me, Barry, my team puts me through the mill and gives me both! How is this eyeliner going to cope with all that I ask you? It’s no good only designing makeup for a few hours clubbing – we football girls need something a bit hardier – man enough for the job as it were.

So come on Barry, show me you’re man enough – give me a nice blue eyeliner with staying power! There’s only a month until the season kicks off again and I need a knight in shining armour to rescue me; I have tied my pretty blue scarf round your arm so finish that cuppa, mount your charger and help this damsel in distress. If you could park your warhorse out the front of the hospital when you’re done, I may have earned enough for another attempt since I’m sure a modern man like you will be wanting more than a fair-ish maiden’s grateful kiss. I’m counting on you!

Yours in desperation,

It took a while, but eventually Barry replied – evidently his company must be so big it took a while for my mail to reach him, or maybe he took a while after his cuppa to compose himself 😉 He was ” terribly sorry to hear that your blue liquid eyeliner let you down and didn’t stay put.” and went on to suggest: ” our blue bold waterproof eyeliner which is very definitely waterproof! It goes on smoothly and feels very luxurious –see here

That was nice of him, I thought, so I replied:

Good afternoon Barry – we’re friends I can tell, so “Barry” not “Mr M” it is!

You may have kept me locked in my colourless tower a while but my knight-in-shining-armour has certainly come through to rescue me! That pencil looks like it might be just the thing! I have to confess that I hadn’t even looked at pencils as I’ve always found they smudge and disappear and had no idea such a thing as a long-lasting one existed. Thank you, I would very much like to try it please (you will need to let me know how best to pay for this) and the address of my tower is Bluespice Towers address here

You may just have saved my beloved team’s season and who knows, if it’s a good season you may be in with a shout of being an unofficial sponsor of luck and I’ll be sure to inform the club accordingly.

Thank you

In his reply Barry said “Best wishes to you and your football team
Barry x”

A few days later I received the new eyeliner and a blue nail paint to match so make-up wise I am all set for the new season 🙂

Thank you Barry M for the human touch and helping me out 🙂

So there we have it – for you Blue ladies reading this, go and buy Barry’s stuff ‘cos he’s an unofficial Blue 🙂

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