On Friday night, we played away at The Globe – though Billy went to watch Newcastle play Cardiff so Roger Snr stood in for him. Simon and Claire were my escorts to the pub, and Paul played the role of “husband” for the evening (going to the bar for me etc.)

Don’t know what we were on that night, but we were great! We won – by five clear games!

Photo courtesy of Paul:

Unfortunately for Simon, he played the other team’s strongest player, though his own darts were not poor, and Claire had half a chance of nicking her game, but alas, it wasn’t to be. My own darts got steadily better as the night wore on and by my singles game I just knew the darts were going to go where I aimed and twice I scored 100 (one at a timely moment in mine and Roger’s doubles and once in my singles.) (Roger Snr eclipsed this by scoring 140 three times!) Roger got the finish in our doubles, thankfully, and he also did all the maths since Billy wasn’t there, so he could tell me where to aim. My opponent and I were neck and neck throughout in our singles game, and it was the fastest game of the night – happily, I just beat him to the double to win.

The player on this team who tends to be a bit of a pain and whom we always want to beat, was playing last, against Paul. (Strangely, though, this player was making efforts to be pleasant this time though which took some getting used to, but fair play to him!) Paul said he could just relax as there was no pressure, but I told him he couldn’t and that he had to win. And he did – despite making hard work of it.

At the end of the game, after eating the rather tasty food on offer, we decamped to The Heart and Billy joined us when he arrived back from his match. He was in a good mood having seen Newcastle win 5 – 1 and we all had a good time.

I wish I could bottle the confidence and ability I’d had this week! Thanks also to my lovely team mates, I’d had a great night, despite earlier wishing I didn’t have to go out, and it did me good. Roger Snr said we should all go out together at the end of the season, and the idea gets my vote

Sorry! Because I am so far behind (having had a crazily busy couple of weeks) I have several matches about which to write and for simplicity am going to put them together in this one post.

Scunthorpe 2 – 4 City (FA Cup 4th Round)

This was an away game and was on TV so I watched at home Being a life-long City fan and knowing my team’s foibles, I was wary of an upset, but happily, City came through without treading on any fruit peelings. Petrov’s opener was beautiful, though Scunthorpe didn’t drop their heads and continued to play football – and were rewarded with an equaliser. It may have been offside, but I couldn’t really begrudge them the goal – they deserved it. It was great to see Ned back and I was pleased for him getting a goal. Boyata looked pretty good (despite the own goal) and Silvinho did the first impressive thing since coming to the club by scoring a hum-dinger of a goal. Robinho put a bit of effort in for once, and bagged a goal at the end. I really took to Scunthorpe’s manager, players and fans and feel they did themselves proud even though we did win.

NUFC 2 – 0 CPFC / MUFC 3 – 1 MCFC

Newcastle 2 – 0 Crystal Palace Palace being mum’s team, Newcastle being Billy’s, it being a local game and on a weekday evening, I arranged ages ago to go to this match with Billy. Mum couldn’t make it so I said I watch her boys for her and send her updates. I also hoped to see some of my Palace friends for a drink (though in the end, they got held up so didn’t make it.) Nevertheless, it was lovely to see Billy’s football friends again and we had an enjoyable drink or three with them. The game itself was terribly poor, it has to be said. However, it was clear that despite the awful predicament their club was in, Palace were not going to let it get them down, and they put all their heart into the match. Newcastle were guilty of poor passing and no pace, but they happened to take their chances when Palace missed theirs. The result was a fair one in the end, and though the ref was appalling, he didn’t affect the overall outcome, being equally poor for both teams. Palace fans were incredible apparently, though the roof above Billy’s and Ian’s seats (where we were sitting) meant that we couldn’t hear them too clearly ourselves. Home fans, by contrast, were very quiet.

ManUre 3 – 1 City As ill-luck would have it, this game ( having been postponed due to weather pushing back the first leg,) clashed with the above match for which I already had my ticket. Billy did say he’s understand if I decided to stay home and watch my match instead, but I don’t like to mess people around (Billy and Ian who had sorted the ticket, and my Palace friends whom I had hoped to see.) In the end, I think maybe it was no bad thing that I had the distraction to spare me from horrendous nerves, and I was utterly convinced that we were going to lose. (Had the second leg been at CoMS I’d have fancied our chances, but not with it being at the Swamp.) I had arranged to receive text updates all evening and every time there was a text, I could barely bring myself to look. For all the goals, I was receiving 4 or 5 texts so every time I peeked at my phone and saw multiple texts, I knew something had happened and nearly died of fright before looking. Ian and Billy, seated either side of me, were very good and followed the text updates with me. (A fair few other Newcastle fans around seemed to be keeping up with the game too.) From what I can gather, my boys did me proud and played well against a strong ManUre side. Noted for playing just their kids in this cup, in which they have no interest, they changed their tactics and went for it. That, and the fact that we ALMOST took the match to extra time, shows we had them worried and gave them a good scare. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and I can feel justifiably proud of City, and patient for a little longer as we slowly grow stronger. When we left St James Park, the game looked to be going into extra time and Billy was already insisting that if that was the case, we would stay in the pub and watch, missing the last bus home and somehow finding the money for a taxi. By the time we got back to the pub (5 minutes walk) Rooney had scored the winner – which was a relief in a way. If we were going to lose, it may as well be in normal (stoppage) time as after a tiring extra 30 minutes and/or pens. At least the agony was over for me and I could just enjoy a commiseration drink with sympathetic friends. Just keep looking over your shoulder, United! Oh and…… Come on VILLA - for Dunnie as much as anything else.

City 2 – 0 Portsmouth

At last! My first home game for a month, thanks to the weather! I couldn’t wait to be back at CoMS It was a Sunday lunchtime kick off so I spent the night before at Mum’s and since I had to leave too early for us to have Sunday dinner, mum made us a cooked breakfast instead She also made me a picnic and a flask of coffee to guard me against the cold and I thought I’d have it before the game whilst it was still hot. As it turned out, I got to the ground in good time – but the car parks was once again in chaos. Yet again, the entrance I use was blocked off, with nothing to tell one until arriving at a barrier! Yet again, a 3 point turn to go back to the other entrance – and a queue to get in. Yet on gaining entry and driving up to the other end – the barriers had been removed! THEN the piled up snow (from last time) blocked the usual through-routes and took away some parking, and cones with barrier tape further hindered movement. Eventually, a single stream of cars were herded down he same path, with the odd free parking spot – often too small to actually get a car (if you wanted to be able open your door to get in/out!) I found a spot eventually, that I thought I might manage and pulled up ahead of it, stuck my indicator on and prepared to reverse. As I started, the huge 4×4 behind me screeched to halt and drove round me gesturing madly. Erm – did he not see my indicator and reversing light? What did he THINK I was doing? Nerves not a little frayed, I began reversing – and struggled to get into the tight spot. The car behind me was waiting and I started to panic and feel I’d never get parked, but the driver of that car was very patient and waved acknowledgement when I apologised to him. Eventually I did get in with just 20 minutes until kick off, and felt very frazzled. I was also desperately in need of the loo and went to the tennis centre as usual, only to be turned away but some stuck up Tae Kwondo (Sp?) official who told me gleefully that I couldn’t use the loo that day because of the huge competition going on. Again – nice of anyone to tell us! I hurried to the loos where the City Museum used to be and finally made it to my seat just minutes before the game. I’ve been feeling very delicate lately as we’ve had so much stress and worry, and to be honest I was on the verge of tears by this time.

Luckily, my team managed to turn a very poor display into a narrow victory to cheer me up a little. The game itself was awful, though entertainment was provided by ST neighbours who held their own commentary throughout, including commenting on how Micah was playing – though actually, he wasn’t even there! Portsmouth fans were few – though they still managed to bring that irritating drum of theirs and seemed unable to sing without it.

When I returned to the car, I was amazed to see how well I’d actually parked it – perfectly straight and perfectly within the lines – wow! I was frozen through as usual, and decided I’d see if by any miracle, the coffee mum had made at 11am still had any warmth now at 4pm. Second pleasant surprise of the day – it was pretty hot, very drinkable and very welcome. (I suppose it helps that it’s just black coffee, no milk to cool it down.) It set me off for a very smooth and enjoyable drive home and I felt a bit calmer at the end of the weekend than I had at the beginning.

Just two weeks after his baby (Schnee) died, Trea also died – peacefully, in his sleep. Nel found him when he was still warm and came sobbing in to me, holding him in her hand.

We’d only been saying a day or two before this that we thought he may not have long left as he had lost a lot of weight, and his fur was looking unkempt. So we were expecting it, but it was still sad.

Trea and his daughter are going to be buried together (large pot on way for this) because Nel wants them to be together in sleep, as they never were in life (due to their opposite genders!)

Just “Mummy” hamster left now

I am very behind, I know. I have 5 posts to add – when I get time! I’m away this weekend though so it won’t be until sometime next week – the latter part probably, as I have a presentation to give on Wednesday.

We played at home to the Unionist B team on Friday night and had a throughly pleasant evening with lots of laughs, despite them being a very much stronger team than us.

We were losing 0-3 until Roger won his and my doubles game (My form was middling only) and then we won Claire’s and Billy’s singles. The others were mainly close though, and Roger Jnr, Billy, Paul and I were unlucky to be pipped at the last to concede ours. It finished 3 – 8 to them.

I was happy with my darts in the singles – apart from a little dip in the middle, and my opponent said it had been a good game. (I’ll say – I thought he was going to wipe the floor with me!)

An enjoyable night, and much happier with my darts this week.

Today, Tuesday 19th January 2010 is my beautiful daughter’s seventeenth birthday.

She was always a serious, deep thinking little girl and always took a while to learn a new trick – talking, walking etc. She never learned little by little, practising until she got it right. She just sat, and watched, and then one day, out of the blue, would just do whatever it was as though she’d simply been waiting to remember how it was done.

She’s a young woman now – and much the same in many ways, though as yet, still to find her feet in this tricky old world in which we live. But she is caring and thoughtful. She’s strong willed and knows her own mind – and she won’t be deterred from her course once she’s decided it. She’s helpful and hard working, and of course, she’s very artistic and creative.

As she grows into her adult self more, I’d wish for her that she finds confidence and an enjoyment of life – to laugh, to share (emotionally) and to try new adventures. These are things that she does not enjoy yet, but one day, I hope she does – for her own pleasure and fulfilment.

But there’s no rush, and this is not criticism. She’s my little girl for as long as she wants to be – though I’m pleased to see her just starting to flex her wings a little. Only very tentatively for now, but hopefully, with increasing confidence until she feels confident enough to fly.

I’m proud of her and of the high values she has – she has a strong, pure spirit which I admire. Sometimes I feel unsure of myself as her mother as we are very different in the way we think and approach life. Sometimes I say the wrong thing (for her) and others I am just lost for words entirely. And yet, I enjoy our mother-daughter closeness at other times when we get the opportunity to spend time together and I think these occasions are increasing as she matures. It’d be nice to think she also enjoys these moments and that she knows how very much I love her.

Happy Birthday Nel. Hope you enjoy your day and the year to come.

This time last year.>

City were not playing until the evening (on ESPN again) so on Saturday I used the day to see a patient in my clinic and then have a meeting with one of my practitioners – which was constructive, I think. I got the ironing done in the afternoon and felt I’d earned a sit down to enjoy the match (on my PC again.)

Hmm! Pity City didn’t think I’d earned a pleasurable game! For once, I’m not convinced Mancini got his tactics right, and starting with Rocky ended in failure when he went off injured after just 5 minutes (same old knee problem I presume.) (Why, oh why, did we ever sign him? The fans all knew his knee was going to be a problem, so why didn’t the club/medics?) Anyway, that was surmountable – bring on Benjani, surely?

Erm, nope. Robinho! Oh, OK, we’re changing formation/positions then, yes? Erm, nope. Robinho up front!

And it went down hill from there really. Tevez was soon limping, closely followed by Petrov. They did both continue to play, but were not quite as fearless as usual. Everton were all over us, we had no midfield, our defence made stupid mistakes and we never looked like scoring. Our defence of set pieces is appalling and as for the penalty – what was Micah thinking? Shirt tugging is an offence. I don’t care if Andy-bloody-Gray often comments that it’s “just a wee tug” or that refs often don’t penalise offenders – it’s against the rules! It’s FOOTball! (Despite it being against us, I applaud the ref’s decision on this. Now let’s have every ref penalising shirt pulling – every week.)Stupid penalty to give away- and right on the stroke of half time too!

Credit to Everton and in particular to Fellaini, but my boys just didn’t turn up on the night. The only little glimmer of positivity came when SWP came on for Robinho (who was woeful – well done Mancini for doing the right thing and taking him off.)

We Blues can always rely on City to cheer us up and get us out of the winter doldrums…….. or not!

I don’t know whether it was better to lose this game and it serve as a kick up the bottom so that we play well Tuesday (Carling Cup semi-final at home to ManUre) or whether this may have dented confidence and we’ll continue to play without conviction. I can only live in hope……. not expectation, just hope.

With the weather still very cold, lots of snow still laying, continuing problems with travel and more bad weather to come, the last week has continued to be out of routine. Everyone has been skint,fed up and wanting some normality – and some warmer weather too.

This week’s days at work really dragged by and everyone felt the same – that the days were going very slowly. (Mum and I reckon that time does change speed rather than flow at a steady rate ‘cos it can’t be a coincidence that when time seems to be going particularly slowly or particularly fast, everyone around you feels the same. It’s not even just the hours – sometimes everyone feels that the day of the week is “wrong” – it feels like Monday when it’s Thursday or Friday when it’s Tuesday. We also think gravity fluctuates too - there are definitely days when you have a “gravity day” – you know, when EVERYTHING falls to the ground when on another occasion, it would have balanced. I’m not clever enough to work it all out properly but I don’t find it inconceivable that gravity might vary (possibly according to the pull or “push) of other bodies (planets, moon, sun) in relation to proximity during orbit around each other. And if gravity varies, maybe the speed at which the earth spins alters? So maybe time does speed up or slow down. Anyway, mum and I sticking to our theory and are quite happy to blame slow days and clumsy days on gravity and time changes )

But I digress.

Just to make this seasonal low, and post Christmas impecuniousity, even worse, gas and electricity bills have started coming in. Like most people,we had a shock at seeing how high ours was – but our supplier wants to put up our payments by 50%! We obviously will have used more during the cold weather, and it doesn’t help that our house is a 24/7 home - there’s always someone up and using electricity as Stephen goes to bed about 5am and I get up at 6am! (The washing machine comes on at 5am so that the clothes are ready for me to put out to dry when I get up.) Billy, Raji and Stephen are terrible for leaving lights on, Nel uses a fan heater in her room, Raji takes forever in the shower – and I am always cold so tend to put the heating on. Sadly, I can’t see much changing for the next year or so so we’ll have to find the money – but our finances are in pretty poor shape already and this is one blow I didn’t need. (I’m still waiting for the car M.O.T bill to arrive, and the tax is due next month too.) I’ve been really disciplined and have thrown away catalogues as they’ve arrived, deleted e-mails from companies offering discounts and sales, and have avoided shop sales like the plague. I feel good about not being tempted to spend money – but miserable knowing I can’t even look – especially for the things that we could really do with and I’m fed up of doing without! I’m not sure I can remember being this poor before (even as a single parent on benefits) – and every time I think I’m getting straight again, something else happens and I’m back to square one – but have no more resources now. I fervently hope Stephen gets work soon – but the only jobs around seem to be part time (which he has, nevertheless, applied for.)

As I said, this flatness is by no means limited just to me – everyone seems to be the same and I’ve been battling hard not to let myself slip into depression. Unfortunately, people around me seem to have decided I must be fine and can therefore be used as a prop for themselves (not intentionally of course) and have been leaning on me – which means that I’ve had to fight ever harder not to fall into the pit. I’m clinging on to the sides – admittedly by my fingertips – but I’m determined to stay strong, stay focused and not wallow. I’m trying to just deal with the things I can do something about, and ride out those I can’t – and really, I need others to do the same. I have taken the precaution of adding some St Johns Wort to my usual (immune boosting) winter herb mix - I need all the help I can get.

Next step is to find some motivation to do all the things I really need to do. Currently I’m doing little, almost hibernating, and comfort eating – which I am going to regret if I keep it up much longer.

Roll on the good times.